This past week, I had the opportunity to help in the Autistic Preschool at our elementary school and Dr. Whited was amazing. When I watched the kids eat their lunches, I was amazed at the things they were eating. They didn't hesitate with their fruits, vegetables, and everything else. I couldn't believe it. When Corbyn was three and we found out he was Autistic, we were told that he had some sensory issues in his mouth. As a result of these issues, we have REALLY struggled with his eating!!!!! He will not try new things and pretty much refuses to eat fruits and vegetables. When I was done helping Dr. Whited, I decided to ask her for some suggestions. She mentioned not letting Corbyn eat anything else for dinner than what is served, unless he at least tries one bite; even if it means going to bed hungry. Well, we have always done that and Corbyn usually always goes to bed hungry because he won't give in and take a bite. She asked how long he'll go without eating and I said usually just until morning because he likes what we have for breakfast. So, of course, she said that we should not let him have breakfast until he tries what we had for dinner the night before. If he still doesn't do it, then don't let him have lunch, etc. etc. I guess I never thought of continuing on to each consecutive meal.
Well, Jason and I decided to try it and it has been an interesting week. There has been a lot of frustration from our little Corbyn and some anger towards Jason and I, but I am happy to say that we have not given in . . . not even once. In fact, Jason and I decided that we have not been good enough at getting any of our children to eat fruits and vegetables over snacks and treats, so we have started a new approach with all the kids. Whenever they ask for a snack or a treat, they must first eat a fruit or a vegetable - they will get a SMALL snack and if they want more, they have to eat more fruits or vegetables. After school, they are only allowed to have fruits or vegetables as a snack and the girls seem to love it. Brianna always runs to the pantry and asks if she can have some corn. Kelsea seems to prefer the fruits, but loves the corn, and Amber loves her apples. Corbyn, bless his heart, is really trying, but he is convinced that he doesn't like fruits and vegetables, so he refuses to try them. He gets so mad that he can't have what he wants, but when we finally get him to take a bite of something, we have a big celebration! He has told me a number of times that I am going to make him die because I won't let him eat, but I have told him that HE is the one who chooses whether to eat or not, he just needs to choose to eat healthier things.
For the first time as a parent, I am starting to sympathize with people who have struggled with weaning their children from nursing, a bottle, or a binky. I confess, I always thought, "oh, brother, just take it away" . . . well, I apologize for ever thinking that! I never realized how much I am doing that same thing with Corbyn. Convenience foods have been a staple for him and I have always used the excuse that he has sensory problems so I better just let him eat what he will eat. . .well, come on - sensory problems or not, he is a six year old boy who likes chips and goodies, and I have been letting him eat them way too much. Well, I am NOT going to let him do it any longer. I guess you could say I am in a weaning process of my own - I am weaning Corbyn off of comfort foods and trying to get him to enjoy healthy foods instead. I never realized how easy going I was, but man, Jason has been super gung ho and super strict and it has helped me tremendously. I really hope that Corbyn will know how much we love him and understand that we are doing this for his own good. He is a great kid and I want him to be happy and healthy!!! I hope he will see how much his sisters enjoy eating healthy and will one day feel the same way.
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Mindi, I didn't know you have an autistic son. I worked as a therapist with autistic children for many years. My oldest son, Brevan, has aspergers and deals with many of the same issues. In fact, all of the boys (and some of the girls) on my entire side of the family are on he autism spectrum. Some are severely autistic and some are high-functioning aspergers. I sure love my boy, but life can be such a battle at times. I admire others who struggle through it.
You are an awesome mom! Autism is a tricky one!!! Good luck in the battle and Weaning process. Corbyn is lucky to have parents who care as much as you!!!
Wow! You're amazing! That sounds very difficult but like the right thing to do. I try to do similar things with my kids, I try to always have fruits and veggies on hand so they have those first. By the way, I know you have had some great success with Corbyn's education, and is it accurate to say that you feel like he is over his autism for the most part? Well, I have a friend who is suspicious that her son might be autistic and already feels like there is no hope and no future for him. What can I tell her that might help her or support her? What kind of education program have you done?
-April
I love this post. What great parents you are! It's so HARD not to give in. Once we said goodbye to Mollie's binky, it has been more trying for me than Mollie! I think I liked it more than she did. Corbyn is a lucky boy to have you.
You are one GREAT mom! AND Jason is a great dad! I know the many struggles of trying to do what's best for our children. We are always trying to please them and make them happy just so we don't have to hear the whinning. Why is that always the best approach? I struggle with that on a daily basis. Kudos to you on not giving in- I will definately have to take some learning advice from you and take your lead. I struggle much with the healthier option for my family. It is much easier to give into the more convieniant foods. Keep me updated on the progress!
I have a cousin who has autism. He refused to eat a lot of stuff (still does a little bit) for a long time. Then, one day---out of the blue, he started eating salad--and wanting salad all of the time. So, as he's gotten older (he's pretty high functioning) he's done pretty well.
I agree in most ways, but do hope the Dr. also said to be careful (you're great parents--so I'm sure you are!). I know some kids with autism who, for example, actually are caused pain because of some sensory issues. For example, they actually are caused pain in their head by looking into other's eyes (they theorize it's the light that reflects in our eyes), so I know I taught one student to look at my forehead cause his mom (and I) were concerned about that. Unfortunately, sensory issues can be very frustrating--and can be dealt with similar to how you're dealing with them, or providing sensory input in a different/more way. So, for example, I've worked with kids whose sense of smell was increased, while their sense of taste was decreased. They loved to smell all their food, but it was like eating a lot of food that wasn't bland literally hurt. So--we emphasized veggies and fruits like pears, corn, bananas, etc. and avoided some like carrots, pineapple, radishes--because we didn't want eating new vegetables to literally cause pain (which could actually increase the likelyhood that they wouldn't want to eat or try any veggies.) Anyway--I'm glad he's trying them...as even with my special ed. background, would have a very hard time if a kid wouldn't eat for more than 1 meal (especially if they were at school...I know I had one student who was placed on a specialized diet--and we finally had to compromise at school--cause he wouldn't eat some of his food, and would be starving--and screaming and crying all afternoon...which doesn't really work at school)
Anyway...glad he's trying some of the food.
Mary P.
I have always thought you are such an amazing mom and I hope you know you are!!
here's a few ideas to soften the blow, especially through the "weaning" time:
-try making the fruits or vegetables more exciting than any other snack or treat---then you can phase out the fruit/veggie first and then snack---things like smoothies, different kinds of dips, making funny faces with the food, etc. can make it more exciting than the other stuff. also, give lots of choices---i can pull out carrots, but then give three different choices of dips and the kids forget they are eating a carrot, they are just excited to choose which dip they want. thats just an example, but theres so many ways to make it appealing---cold turkey would be hard for anyone, especially when you're six.
just some ideas---i'm sure you'll be flooded with advice, sorry to add to the mix! good luck!
I am going through the same thing with Kira wanting bad foods/snacks all the time! I have decided not to buy those for her any more because that is all she will eat!
I seriously need to start doing that. Dallin has started asking for sugar. Do we think there is problem????
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