I finally have an update on the basketball situation at my gym and I just want you to know that there may be a few of you who are disappointed by this update, especially since I was so fired up in my little venting post.
After MUCH thought, discussion with Jason, discussion with a brother-in-law, and consulting my deeper feelings on the matter, I have decided to 'let it go.' Now, letting it go does NOT mean that I am giving up or backing down, it just means, I have decided to walk away from the situation and more importantly, my pride. When I realized that my pride was what was leading my anger and driving me to prove a point to these men that woman are just as good as men, I realized that that is just not who I am. I love being a woman and yes, we ARE different from men. Thank goodness.
I stated in my venting post that I have played in many pickup games over the years and it has not been a big deal, but it is because the games I played in were always groups of random people showing up at the gym to play basketball. After observing the group of guys at my gym for the last week, I realized that they are not just a group of random guys showing up at the gym to play bball; they are all REALLY good friends! They come to the gym to be with each other and basketball is just their way of socializing. As I stated before, they have all been really nice to me (regardless of my feeling that they have been trying to get rid of me) and I think they just want to be together as buds without outsiders - namely "30-something-mothers-of-five" - it's NOT personal. My interference is almost like a random man showing up at a Ladies' Night Out and asking if he can join us - weird!
When I watched all of them today and saw how much fun they have with each other on the court and off the court, I felt very strongly that I just needed to let it go. It's amazing what came over me after I made that decision! My entire drive to play with them completely left. I didn't feel anymore frustration or anger and I was able to run on the treadmill, watch them play, and not feel left out (that is amazing for those of you who don't fully understand my ridiculous will to play basketball)! I am at peace. (I feel silly saying that, since this is such a trivial thing, but there it is.)
I'm not sure why I had this mini-experience and why I am even sharing it with anyone, but I would like to think that it has made me be a stronger person and helped me recognize my own pride.
(P.S. Jason and my brother-in-law shared that it is awkward for them to play basketball with women because it is such a full contact sport. Another very important reason why I have decided to not take it personally that these men preferred I not play with them.)
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11 comments:
Wow, Mindi. I am impressed at your forbearance and I can totally see your point. In fact, I remember a guy in high school showing up at my house when we were having a girls' night out - let's just say my dad was sure I'd never get married after how I treated the poor guy. It does change things when someone of the other gender shows up to some things. Glad you're feeling better about it.
You are a better person that me. I'm glad that you feel better now...that's the importantest part! And I wish I was there with you to go find some women and have a pick-up game! I've been running and I SERIOUSLY could use a RS basketball game!
Good for you. I probably would have reacted the same way as you at first, but it would've taken me a lot longer to get to where you are now. Look at you being an example to none other than ME!! Ha ha! Our visiting teaching message this month went kind of along those same lines respect to needing more women to be kind and soft not tough and mean and corse. You took the high road and the womanly road, so good for you.
I think you are so awesome. I totally remember why I liked being around you and talking to you in high school. You made me smile today.
Mindy, what a woman you are! I need to take a good lesson from you. My husband doesn't like to play games with me because I'm a little to competitive with him! You are such a fun person, that is why everyone loves to be around you!
Good for you! I guess the Lord throws little lessons at us in ways we just don't expect. He really does work in mysterious ways.
Glad you posted an update (even if it wasn't the IN YOUR FACE comeback I was expecting) That is great to find learning in experiences like these. Thanks for sharing.
Not what I was expecting to hear. But it was better than what I was expecting. Thanks for sharing
Mindi, I am so excited to find your blog! It's good to read about your family. You should check mine out. I'm not surprised you let it go. You are usually pretty wise about stuff like that.
Proud of you, my friend. And pleased at having the sneak preview of what is sure to be in one of your general conference talks one day :) Thanks for being a good example (like usual!)
Good decision, you are awesome! Besides, you don't want to play with them anyway if they are going to be dumb about it!
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